Molesworth: The Young Elizabethan Years

Molesworth: The Young Elizabethan Years

by Robert Kirkpatrick

In January 1948 the publishers Collins launched Collins Magazine for Boys and Girls, a firmly respectable middle-class monthly (initially only available on subscription) which emphasised the value of reading, and which, for much of its run, attracted some of the best children’s writers of the time.  In April 1950 its title changed to Collins Magazine, and in April 1953 its title changed again to Collins Young Elizabethan, in a nod to the accession of Queen Elizabeth II.  In late 1954, with its circulation dropping, it was bought by John Grigg (the editor of The National Review and later Baron Altrincham), who immediately installed Kaye Webb as editor.  One of her first tasks was to recruit her husband Ronald Searle as an illustrator, and to commission a new series of Molesworth pieces from Geoffrey Willans.

His first piece, illustrated by Searle, appeared the January 1955 issue, headed "Introducing ... MOLESWORTH (Elizabethan)", and was a comic look at the “old” Elizabethans:

Drake, you kno Drake who singed the king of spane’s beard, he was the
kind we ought to model ourselves on these days.  With him he had a gay
band of cut-throats who would make molesworth 2, peason grabber
gillibrand etc. look like the weeds and wets they are.  These cut-throats
were very fond of Drake and when he was dead they kept calling to him.
    CUTTHROATS:  Captin art thou sleeping there below.
    DRAKE:  How can i when you are making such an infernal din?
    CUTTHROATS:  Drake is in his hammoack –
    DRAKE:  I am not in my hamock curse you.  All there is down
here is sea-weed and shells it is worse than a bed in the
skool dorm.

This was followed, in the next month’s issue, by "Guide to Gurls", which imagines what life would be like at St. Custard’s if the pupils behaved themselves like they did in girls’ school stories (“Rats, you crumpet,” sa gillibrand, the mad cap of 3B.  “It’s jolly rot to sa that molesworth cribbed in the botany exam”).  Further Molesworth features appeared throughout the rest of 1955, all of which were subsequently reprinted, with occasional small textual changes, cuts and additions, in the book Whizz for Atomms, published by Max Parrish in 1956.  (“Conoisuers of prose and luvers of literature hem-hem may recall that some of this hav apeared in that super smashing mag Young Elizabethan”).

Two further pieces, "Atomms v Culture" and "Goodby to Skool (for a bit)" which appeared in Whizz for Atomms weren’t published in the magazine until February and March 1956. 

1956 saw nine Molesworth features, 1957 a further seven, and 1958 a further eleven.  Almost all of these later pieces were subsequently published in Back in the Jug Agane  –  the one exception was a piece from May 1957, "molesworth cleens up dodge city", a spoof western “story”, which may have been regarded as too similar to "Six-Gun Molesworth" which had appeared the previous year.  Instead, Back in the Jug Agane had a piece called "Molesworth Takes Over":  “Wot would everyone say if we schoolboys behaved like the nations of the globe?  I will tell you.  They would sa we were stupid, crass, ignorant, hopeless, wet, weedy and sans un clue.  And yet it goes on.”

By the spring of 1958 the success of the Molesworth books, plus his other work, had encouraged Geoffrey Willans to leave the BBC to become a full-time freelance writer.  But, wholly unexpectedly, he died of a heart attack on 6 August.  Further Molesworth pieces appeared in the September and October issues of Young Elizabethan, followed by a gap in November, with his last piece appearing in the December issue, immediately after a brief announcement of his death in the editorial.

In the meantime, Back in the Jug Agane was published in late 1958 (the first edition is dated 1959), at the same time as the omnibus volume of all four books, The Compleet Molesworth.

Molesworth has since become one of literature’s most famous schoolboy anti-heroes.  Perhaps taking a cue from Rudyard Kipling’s Stalky (1899), Molesworth had a jaundiced, cynical and at times ambivalent approach to life, both at school and at home. 

    “Armand is coming to sta with us in the hols,” she sa.
    “Who, pray, is armand,” i repli, dealing a mitey blow to my hard-boiled egg.  “As far as i kno he is the weedy wet in the fr. book who sa the elephants are pigs.
    “He is a fr. boy who is coming to us to learn eng.,” sa mater with a swete patient smile.  “And you are to be v. nice to him as the pore boy will be far from home ect.”
     Well, you can immagine wot any noble british boy would sa to that i.e. o no mater, must we, gosh, wot a chiz ect. but it is no use.  It is not any good pointing out that “chez molesworth” he may learn a lot of things but one of them won’t be eng.  We kno when are licked.

As with the other fictional comic prep school boys of his era  –  Donald Gilchrist’s Seeley-Bohn, Klaxon’s Aloysius, Anthony Buckeridge’s Jennings, and the boys in H. F. Ellis’s A .J. Wentworth  –  much of the humour comes from the clash between a child’s view of the world and an adult’s view.  But the main strength of Molesworth is Willans’s style, which gives Molesworth a unique voice.  His erratic spelling, vague notions of grammar, lack of punctuation, and the repetition of certain expressions, are trademarks which are instantly recognisable.  Above all, the Molesworth books have a satirical bite which elevates them to a level far higher than that of simple farce or comedy.

    “Wot is yore opinion of colin wilson, the new philosopher?” sa fotherington-tomas, hanging by his weedy heels from the crossbar.
    “Advanced, forthright, signifficant,” i repli, kicking off the mud from my footer boots.
    “He takes, i think, the place of t.s. eliot in speaking for the younger generation.  Have you any idea of the score?”
    “Not a clue.”
    “Those rufians hav interrupted us six times.  So one must assume half a dozen goles.  If only our defence was more lively, quicker on the tackle!  Now as i was saing about colin wilson.....”

There has never been anything quite like Molesworth, and the icing on the cake was the brilliance of Ronald Searle, and the perfect match between the text and the illustrations.  Hoora for Willans, Searle, Molesworth, and all boys everywere.

APPENDIX TWO

This is a complete list of all the Molesworth pieces in Young Elizabethan.

January 1955        Introducing ... MOLESWORTH (Elizabethan)
February 1955        Guide to Gurls
March 1955        Tee Hee for Tee Vee
April 1955        BOO to tinies
May 1955        WHO will be WOT?
June 1955        Six-gun Molesworth
July 1955        Oeufs are Oafs…
August 1955        Ho for the Hols!
September 1955    A Grim Subjekt
October 1955        Produktivity in Skool
November 1955    More about Masters
December 1955    A Few Tips from the Coarse
January 1956        A Teacher’s World
February 1956        Attoms v Culture
March 1956        Goodby to Skool (for a bit)
May 1956        Learning About Life
June 1956        Taking Wings!
July 1956        The Flying Molesman
September 1956    here we go agane!
October 1956        So far so good!
December 1956    I luv Gurls
February 1957        the karackter kup
March 1957        the grate master trap
May 1957        molesworth cleens up dodge city
June 1957        kno yore enemy!
October 1957        back in the jug agane, (hem hem)
December 1957    a few rools for xmas
January 1958        a brite future
February 1958        dansey dansey
March 1958        “shoot fule!”
April 1958        musick the food of luv ect.
May 1958        headmaster probes secrets
June 1958        ko-eddukation at st. custard’s
July 1958        fr. and English
August 1958        tenis anebody?
September 1958    MIND MY BIKE!
October 1958        thro’ horridges with gran in ’58
December 1958    hurrah for examms

A further piece by Geoffrey Willans, "Molesworth – The Inside Story", appeared in April 1957.

The Lost Diaries of Nigel Molesworth

The Lost Diaries of Nigel Molesworth

by Robert Kirkpatrick

May 6.  Arrived back at school.  Started to cry and went into jim towear it off.  Ragged in jim but was stoped by Mr Trimp (headmaster) and recived conduc mark chiz.  Rember have some cigs in plabox and endevore to remove them but Mr Oates (geog) sees me and says what have you there, nothing sir honestly, I say you can see if you want to sir.  He say I trust you molesworth but he follow me when I go out chiz.  Will have to wait.  Went on raging and mucked about and after tea went and had reeding Mr Trimp read Dr. syn.  Quite a good book every body gets murded.  Mr Trimp says it will be fine tomow.
May 7.  It rained.

Thus begins Nigel Molesworth’s debut as a man of letters, in the magazine Punch on 9 August 1939.

Most people familiar with Molesworth will know of him through the four books (Down with Skool, How to be Topp, Whizz for Atomms and Back in the Jug Agane, all with illustrations by Ronald Searle) published in the 1950s, or via the omnibus The Compleet Molesworth, originally published in 1958 and re-issued in 1984 and then as a Penguin Classic in 1999. 

What are less well-known, probably because they have never been reprinted, are the Molesworth diaries that appeared in Punch between August 1939 and December 1942.  Although Molesworth appeared fully-formed, with his terrible spelling and cynical view of life, the diaries are substantially different from the later books, both in format and setting.

Molesworth was created by the author Geoffrey Willans, born on 11 February 1911 (and later christened as Herbert Geoffrey Willans).  He was educated at Glyngarth Preparatory School, Cheltenham, and then, between 1924 and 1929, at Blundell’s School, Tiverton, Devon.  He later taught at Woodcote House Preparatory School, Windlesham, Surrey (and not at Blundell’s, as most online sources suggest), which presumably provided the inspiration for Molesworth.

(It is thought that Willans appropriated the name “Molesworth” from the RAF station at Molesworth in Cambridgeshire, and not from the late 19th century children’s writer Mrs Molesworth).

After a break as a full-time writer, Willans obtained a temporary wartime commission in the Royal Naval Volunteer Reserve, initially as a Sub-Lieutenant in 1940 and then being promoted to Lieutenant in 1941.  After the war he worked for the BBC European Service, whilst also contributing to various magazines.  In the meantime, in November 1940, he had married Pamela Wyndham Gibbes, with whom he went on to have two sons.

* * * * *

When Nigel Molesworth began his diaries in August 1939 his school wasn’t named, and it was only in July 1940 that it was revealed that he was at St. Cypranes (Headmaster Mr Trimp).  For a brief period in 1940, when St. Cypranes was in “quaranteen”, the pupils went to “new skool SunHo”. where “headmaster haf short pants and no cane” (possibly modelled on Summerhill), and in 1941 Molesworth and his younger brother (Molesworth 2) were sent to a girls’ school to be near their father’s regiment.  (“July 19.  Peason write me a p.c. he haf heard I am at girls skool and ask if I haf been elected most poplar girl.  Gosh chiz.”)

In October 1941, after St. Cypranes had been bombed (“cheers cheers cheers”) it was merged with another school, St. Guthrums.  (“Now we haf TWO headmasters.  Am overwhelmed at this thort.”).  It was not until 1953, with the publication of Down with Skool, that Molesworth found himself permanently at St. Custard’s.

The only constant between the diaries and the later books, apart from Molesworth and his brother, was the presence of his great friend Peason and the unutterably wet and weedy Fotherington-Thomas.

Not surprisingly, given the era in which they were written, the main focus of the diaries is the war:

1939.  Nov. 10.  Air-rade warning.  Masters tremble and scram, xcept deaf master who asleep in his room.  All boys very heroical and I offer cig card soldier of the british Realm to chap who hear first gun.  Peason avacutates white mice which he sa very sussetptible to poson gas.  We hear fighting planes – hurricanes – but only deaf master snoring.  At last Mr trimp comes and say all into the air-rade shelter all to the shelter dubble.  He dash in first (headmasters all the same) and is knee deep in water cheers conduc mark laughing (manners).  Very fusty in shelter and white mice perish.  We stand on benches but Nazis do not come mean groan they are weedy.

1940.  March 2.  Catch german measles and peason sa boo weedy german through sickroom door.  Haf 1579 spots, not counting back of neck.

1940.  April 1.  April fools day will chiz all masters and misteresses also skool dog.  Will pin kick me on deaf masters back.  Awate opportunity but deaf master sa haf i not seen aeroplane crash on big field.  Dash out but nothing there.  Chiz chiz chiz grind teeth and buzz aple at skool pig instead.  Peason votes we stick draring pin on deaf masters chair revenge but he come too soon and there shouts of K.V. Sit down in place on draring pin.  Drone.  Deaf master highly delighted he haf placed it there and give us lesson on how to win the war.

School life, of course, had to carry on:

1941.  Jan. 15.  Chiz chiz chiz haf to go to dancing class.  All boys look like girlies and girls haf weedy bows.  Misteress sa feeble things she sa now we are all going to be chickens, little cocks and little hens Tippy toes tippy toes.  Moan and groan.  molesworth 2 dance mightily and there fat boy called robin but when he being little cock he fall wam.  All larff xcept robin’s mother who sa i haf tripped him.  Chiz as i do not think anebode see.

1942.  Oct. 19.  Morning bell viz all boys leap from bed at thort of breakfast cheers cheers squadrons of sossages take off from plates and spoons zoom mightily MASTERS sneke in guiltily with yellow faces. Carry out begning of term inspecktion skool dog new bugs skool pig and dirty dick gardners boy all O.K.  Test skool dog with trial conker which land in target area but am disgusted to find NEW MASTER who regard me venormously.  He sa Hi you what your name: when i say Molesworth 1 he sa Har! i haf heard of you.  Tremble tremble try old wheeze i.e. look ashamed but no go get 3 conduc marks and when i sa gosh 3 sir that a bit stiff he smirk and sa since i not satisfied he will give 4.  This is skool record so thank him perlitely and ooze off to chass new bugs.

The last diary entry (in which Molesworth, rather surprisingly, reads F.W. Farrar’s lachrymose 1858 school story Eric, or Little by Little, and is “deeply impressed”) was dated 9 December 1942. 

In the previous year, the cartoonist Ronald Searle had had his first St. Trinian’s cartoon published in the magazine Lilliput.  A second followed in 1946, after Searle had returned to England from a traumatic period as a prisoner-of-war in the Far East, and he continued producing St. Trinian’s cartoons until he grew to detest them.  Despite Searle blowing up the school in his last cartoon, his publisher, Max Parrish, wanted more.  Searle promised to come up with something, and in 1952 his wife, Kaye Webb (a former assistant editor at Lilliput) introduced him to Geoffrey Willans, who had, by then, refined Molesworth and was anxious to see if Searle could provide some illustrations.  Initially appalled at the idea of yet another school, Searle was won over by Willans’s text, and the result was Down with Skool, published by Max Parrish in October 1953, which sold almost 54,000 copies before the end of the year and has rarely been out of print since.  A second book, How to be Topp, followed in the autumn of 1954.

By this time, Kaye Webb had become the editor of the children’s magazine Young Elizabethan.  She enlisted both Searle and Willans as contributors, and thus, in January 1955, began a continuation of the partnership which culminated in 38 Molesworth features and two more books.

To be continued…

APPENDIX ONE

This is a complete list of all the Punch Molesworth diaries:

9 August 1939            My Sumer Diary
27 December 1939        My Diary of the War
21 February 1940        Molesworth the Good
10 April 1940            Molesworth Detective
15 May 1940            Molesworth and the Wicked Grandmother
3 July 1940            Molesworth the Problem Child
20 November 1940        Molesworth and the Battle of Britain
5 February 1941        Another Slice of Molesworth
2 July 1941            Molesworth Excelsior
6 August 1941            Molesworth Madcap
27 August 1941        Molesworth:  Man or Beast?
24 September 1941        Molesworth at Goste Grange
22 October 1941        Molesworth of Red Gulch
10 December 1941        Molesworth the Fashionplate
24 December 1941        Molesworth of the Remove
18 March 1942        Molesworth the Dog Fancier
20 May 1942            Molesworth and the Domestic Problem
29 July 1942            Molesworth’s Jolliest Term
21 October 1942        Molesworth Goes Rustic
9 December 1942        Molesworth or Little by Little


Note:  I got through this whole piece without once using the phrase “as any fule kno”, which, as any fule kno, is one of Molesworth’s most famous  –  oh, chiz...