Comic Cuts - 1 November 2019

The last couple of weeks have been filling up with distractions. The house we rent has been undergoing a few checks—a full house inspection plus having an electrician over to fix a couple of broken lights; we had a gas inspection this week and have a full electrical inspection next week, which takes a day and a half, apparently, plus I have a dental appointment and went down to the doctors' surgery today to book myself in for an MOT later this month.

My last MOT was pretty good. I'm still overweight, which will come as no surprise to regular readers as I've discussed this before, but I have lost some weight since my last check-up. I did very well on the blood pressure test and I'm not anticipating any problems this time as I'm still getting out for my walks regularly. And my just-about-OK cholesterol test should see an improvement as I've cut down on margarine and I'm not eating quite as much processed meat. I'm even making my own burgers these days.

We shall find out in a few weeks. The good news is that, following advice from last time, there's a lot more fibre in my diet as I'm eating breakfast regularly and I'm getting a bit of extra exercise running down to the Post Office every day, including one day this week when I had to hump a huge box of magazines a quarter mile to get it picked up by Parcelforce, who wouldn't collect. 22 kilos it weighed and despite it being downhill all the way, my heart was hammering by the end of the journey. This is what happens when you sit in front of a computer all day.

I've spent a big chunk of the week putting together a stock piece for The Guardian, and as usual I've massively overwritten the first draft. There'll be lots of cutting today.

And I'm away up to London for the day tomorrow, but I'll tell you all about that next week.

(I'm a day late with the header pic., but Happy Halloween y'all!)

NCIS... it has been 17 years since the first season, so I think a spoiler warning isn't really necessary, but, just in case, be warned and hop to the end of the column if you hate that kind of thing.

There are only so many hours in the day and when NCIS started broadcasting on Channel 5 back in the 2000s, it was one of many US shows that I didn't have time for. Some I came to late: a friend asked me to video the early episodes of season three of 24 as she was out of the country, and I thought I'd watch an episode to see why she was so obsessed with it. One episode later and I was hooked... I managed to find the season one and season two DVDs not long after. C.S.I. was another one I got hooked on after friends began raving about it.

I found the first two seasons of NCIS in a charity shop for £1 each, so I thought I'd give it a try. I like American TV shows with complete-in-themselves episodes, as they're a nice length for watching at lunchtime (one of the advantages of working from home). And you don't want anything too heavy.

With NCIS you get what's called a cold open—a little introductory scene in which a body is found, or falls out of the sky, or, in one of the more intriguing cases, a woman gets a phone call from her supposedly dead husband. They're meant to pique your interest enough to get you through the opening credits without turning over. The show, which centres around the subsequent investigation leading to a reveal at the end, generally delivers on that initial promise.

The pilot episode involved the death of a special agent who was tasked with looking after the nuclear codes that accompany the President when he travels on Air Force One. The agent returns from a meal looking unsteady, then collapses in front of the President's security detail. The President in this case is George W. Bush, and the show cleverly splices real shots of Bush into some scenes.

The body is that of US Navy Commander Trapp, so the N.C.I.S. (Naval Criminal Investigative Service) arrive on the scene to investigate: gruff Special Agent Gibbs (Mark Harmon) leading the small team of smooth womanizer Agent Tony DiNozzo (Michael Weatherly supplying the banter, although in these days of #MeToo, "sex pest" might better describe him) and medical examiner Donald "Ducky" Mallard (David McCallum), an old hand with a story for every situation.

They butt heads with the FBI and Secret Service, both of whom claim jurisdiction over the crime scene, but with the aid of Secret Service agent Caitlin "Kate" Todd (Sasha Alexander), they manage to lock the other agencies out of the plane and fly it back to Washington.

An autopsy shows no obvious signs of foul play, although it is still suspected and confirmed when  Marine Major Kerry, whom Trapp replaced at the last minute, also dies. Gibbs realises there will be an attempt on the President's life and... well, you can probably guess that he saves the day.

Kate is recruited to N.C.I.S. after being dropped from the Secret Service over her relationship with Major Kerry, and, back in Washington, we are introduced to Abby Sciuto (Pauley Perrette), a fast-talking, super-intelligent Goth who provides whatever forensic or computer skills the storylines throw at her.

These are the five central characters for seasons one and two and for the most part they mesh well, with enough personality to make them more than ciphers. There are things yet to be discovered about the characters (I've only see the first season of the show, which is currently airing season 17!), so I've yet to discover, for instance, where grumpy Gibbs hides the charm he presumably has, as he has three ex-wives and someone who regularly picks him up at the end of episodes. And how is he going to get the boat he's building out of the basement?


Tony DiNozzo is something of a problem as his "banter" and office pranks tip into areas of chauvenism and misogyny. We shall have to see how he develops.

Indeed, in the case of NCIS as a whole, getting from crime scene to handcuffs on the crook(s) is a lot of fun and I'm looking forward to season two and (hopefully) finding some of the later seasons cheaply in charity shops.